A guy was talking a walk when noticed a sign outside a house "Talking dog for sale". He thinks what the hell and knocks on the door. The owner says the dog is in the backyard. The guy walks around the back and sees a black Labrador sitting on the back porch.

Guy says, "Can you talk?"

Dog replies, "Yep".

"So, what's your story?"

Dog looks up at the guy and says, "Well I discovered I could talk when I was just a pup and I thought I should help the government. They had me jetting around the world sitting in rooms with spies and government leaders, obviously no-one thought a dog would be eavesdropping. I was one of their best spies for eight years.

Anyways the jetting around the world was pretty tiring and I wasn't getting any younger. I wanted to settle down so I quit and went to work at the airport doing undercover work wandering around suspicious characters and listening in. Caught a lot of drug smugglers and terrorists, got me a bunch of medals.

Met a girl, had a mess of puppies and now I'm just retired."

The guy is amazed. He goes back into the house and asks the owner how much he wants for the dog.

"Ten."

The guy says, "That dog is incredible! Why are you selling him so cheap?"

"He's a liar. He didn't do any of that sh*t!"